May 11

May 11 Fancy Hotels and Plush Robes

Luxury hotels and restaurants were Rebecca’s thing. They were her work and her passion.

If you were a friend of hers you got the benefit; a discounted rate, an upgraded room or at the very least, free drinks (she always knew the bartender). When we lived in Thailand, we were spoiled rotten. Weekends at the Anantara Riverside, eating like kings at the buffet and lounging poolside all afternoon. Big messy parties with friends in Phuket, private pools in our suites and the staff stopping by to say hello.

I visited her in the Maldives and Qatar; unreal experiences that will never be topped.

Even as she was dying she organized the best. The presidential suite at the Powerscourt in Wicklow (thanks Christine), a fabulous sibling weekend at the 1 Hotel in Miami, and the Sundial in Sanibel, days before she died.

Driving up to Sonoma for our Anniversary weekend, I was worried that this experience would trigger some grief. That as much as I wanted to be present with Mike, nobody would appreciate this as much as Becks.

When we were randomly upgraded due to a broken fireplace, I was inconsolably emotional. There’s an unobstructed view of the pacific, a crackling fire and robes. Those damn robes.

I have robes in my closet that she nicked from Sri Lanka and Portugal. We vamped in robes all over the world, but she’ll never experience this thick robe that shielded me from the blustery pacific winds.

It’s a real crisis of privilege to be able to grieve one lifetime relationship as you celebrate the love and loyalty of another. I have so much to be grateful for in my marriage to Mike yet we both have lost so much in Becks.

If you knew her and were lucky enough to experience her largesse, keep that robe warm and treat yourself today. Take the trip. Charm the bartender. Breathe in your blessings.